So in my last post we found Sally, alone after her separating from and divorcing her husband at the behest of his parents due to mental and physical damage from the war. How does one recover from this kind of blow? For Sally, though she was shell shocked, and hurting, she always had this utterly positive, and resilient personality. Though the building had fallen on her, she pushed back and attempted to find her way back.
It was something that I personally loved about her so much. Even at the end of her life, she tried to find something positive in every day. Sometimes she would say to me, " I'm trying so hard to be positive, but is so hard when I am in such pain! ".
Anyway, there Sally was after this great tragedy in her life. Her solution was to apply to be one of the first stewardesses for American airlines. She worked hard for the job, and in those days it was no mean feat to get that sort of work. Women had to dress just so, look just so, and comport themselves in a manner that pleased the airlines.
In the meantime Sally was approached by another pilot in her former husband's squadron. We'll call him Ace. Ace seemed to want to comfort Sally, and Sally liked his company. He seemed to want to make up for Sally' s loss.
However, Sally wasn't wanting to be in any sort of relationship. I do think it comforted her to have the companionship of someone who worked so closely with her husband, but as Ace wanted more and more of Sally' s time, he began to hint around about marriage. Sally did not want that, and frankly she wasn't sure she liked him. He had this arrogance about him that turned her off. She also wasn't sure that she appreciated him pursuing her with her husband so recently estranged from het in such a horrible way.
So Sally kept pushing Ace away, and rejecting any pleas for marriage.Sally focussed on her job, pouring herself into being a fantastic stewardess. The airline had the stewardesses room together. Sally ended up rooming with some " horrible women ", as she called them.
Though she did not like her roommates, Sally was very successful at her job, and enjoyed flying from place to place. Contrary to today's we'll engineered computerized automated planes, flying in those days carried more risk. Sally spoke of all that could and did go wrong in those early years.
Sally also told a story of one time when she was on a short flight from I think Dallas to Saint Louis. The flight was quite short, and the pilot told her she had thirty minutes to serve the passengers their food. Sally didn't see how it could be done since she was the one and only stewardess. So Sally, began having the passengers help. She gathered up a couple helpers, mostly male, who, since Sally was gorgeous, were easily convinced to help the pretty stewardess. The passengers loved it! When all were served, and seated Sally took a plate to the captain, told him she was finished, and that she was going to get ready for landing. The captain was shocked, and exclaimed, " How could you be done? ". Sally told him, and he was so impressed, he started pursuing her too. They ended becoming life long friends.
One night Sally went back to her apartment, and was enjoying the evening. Suddenly she realized that she had left her cap for work across town. In those days, American Airlines had a very strict dress code for their girls. Sally called the matron in charge, and the lady told her that she absolutely must have her cap for her flight in the morning.
About the time that Sally got off the phone with her boss, Sally' s roommates arrived home drunk with two men Sally didn't know. Sally told her roommates about her problem. One of her roommates pointed at one of the guys (we'll call him Hank), and said, " Well Hank has a car. He'll take to get your cap! ". Hank said, " Sure I'll take you. ". Sally looked at him, and was nervous because she knew he had been drinking, but he was her only shot, so she agreed.
Sally and Hank headed off to get the cap, which they collected, and then began the drive home. Suddenly, while driving home, Hank pulls into this dark park. Sally tell him she needs to get home right away, because she has to fly out in the morning. Hank ignores her, parks the car, and throws himself on top of her. When Sally resists, he hits her, and proceeds to rape her.
Sally was a tiny woman. When I knew her in good health she couldn't have weighed more than ninety pounds soaking wet. Sally said this man was huge, and he had her backed up against the car door. After he finished, he cussed her out, and drove her home.
Sally was bleeding, and looking like a woman looks when brutally raped when she walked through the door of her apartment. Her roommate saw her, and smirked, and said, " Yeah, I knew he was that type. That was why I sent you with him. I didn't want him here. ". Sally just hobbled off to her room.
The next morning Sally, called Ace and told him she would marry him, a decision she later regretted. However, at the time, Sally felt that she wasn't safe on her own. She just didn't feel that she could handle it anymore. So she made her decision.
However, it wasn't long after that Sally realized she was carrying her rapist' s baby. Sally made another decision she regretted till she died. She allowed her mother to convince her to terminate her pregnancy.
Wednesday, August 12, 2015
Thursday, January 15, 2015
Before Sally found her first husband she only had one additional serious relationship. The young man happened to be Jewish. Sally loved him. However, no matter how much they adored one another, the issue of religion was the cause of a lot of trouble for the couple.
Sally was not liked by his family, not for her character, but because of her faith. Sally dated this guy for quite some time. She introduced her parents to him. She spent time with his family, but neither Sally's family nor his family was in favor of the match.
Sally, at first didn't understand the problem. To her the issue of religious faith seemed a problem easy to overcome. However, the longer she went along, the more she realized that this issue was going to be a real problem between the families, and then later with their children. Eventually she broke it off.
Awhile later, Sally met her first husband. Her first husband (I'll call him Jack)was in the military. For the first time, Sally fell head over heels in love with Jack. As the time came to be closer for Jack to ship out to the Korean war, they both decided that they wanted to get married before he left. Jack was a pilot. Sally married Jack two weeks before he left for Korea. Sally said they were the happiest two weeks of her life!
Sally was a virgin when she got married. She talked about her first sexual experiences as joyful and full of passion. She never wanted to be apart from Jack, and yet he had to leave to go fight a war. The two of them spent two weeks in marital bliss before he shipped overseas.
Sally tried to settle into life without her husband. She was a model at the time. I've seen pictures of her during her modeling days, and she was just drop dead gorgeous. She had dark brunette hair, and eyes. She was more beautiful than Greta Garbo. She modeled many different famous designer's clothes.
When I knew her, Sally was not impressed by today's models. Having been a model, Sally had excellent taste in clothing. I have seen many of the vintage outfits she obtained while modeling, absolutely beautiful clothes!
Sally continued working, after her husband left. However, she soon realized that she was pregnant. In those days communicating with a husband overseas was nigh unto impossible. Sally's mom helped her a lot during her pregnancy. Sally was ecstatic about having her and Jack's first child.
Unfortunately, tragedy soon took the joy out of Sally's life. It wasn't long before Sally was notified that Jack was missing in action. I don't know if it was the tragedy of hearing her husband was missing, or what, but Sally soon had another problem. When Sally first told me this story she told me her husband had died. The reality of what really happened was still quite overwhelming to talk about for her.
Not long after Jack was reported missing, Sally lost her first and only child by Jack, late in the pregnancy. So now, not only was Sally alone, but her child was gone too. She went into a depression which highly worried her mother. She had no further word about Jack for a long long time. Sally had to endure her grief by herself without even knowing if her husband was alive or not.
I wish that I could end this part of Sally's story positively, however Sally was faced with a true tragedy. Eventually, Sally heard that Jack was coming home. Sally went to Jack's parents who asked her to come visit with them about Jack's return. Sally went there anticipating with joy Jack's return from his military service.
Jack's parents tearfully explain just what had happened to Jack. Apparently Jack's plane was shot down in Korea. Jack was taken captive. Tragically, Jack was tortured, and drugged for quite sometime. According to Jack's parents he was not much more than an emotional vegetable upon his return. They begged Sally not to see him. They asked her to just get and annulment, and go on with her life. According to them, Jack was no longer able to communicate, and was never likely to recover.
I can't imagine how Sally must have felt that day! She'd lost his baby. She'd lived without him all that time, not knowing if he was dead or alive, and then to be faced with such a horrifying decision. Finally, she agreed to his parent's request. Honestly, I don't think I would have. I think I would have demanded to see my husband in whatever state he was in. However, I never walked in her shoes. Maybe she didn't feel up to the emotional trauma after the hell she had been through already. Maybe she was just totally frightened by their description. She respected his parents, and trusted them, and did exactly what they asked her to do.
She was beyond devastated. She felt guilty. She was alone. Her child was gone. Oh, how she suffered! For years Sally told people her first husband died. She did not tell me the truth until we had been friends for many years. That kind of loss is hard to recover from. She was one of the strongest people I knew!
Sally was not liked by his family, not for her character, but because of her faith. Sally dated this guy for quite some time. She introduced her parents to him. She spent time with his family, but neither Sally's family nor his family was in favor of the match.
Sally, at first didn't understand the problem. To her the issue of religious faith seemed a problem easy to overcome. However, the longer she went along, the more she realized that this issue was going to be a real problem between the families, and then later with their children. Eventually she broke it off.
Awhile later, Sally met her first husband. Her first husband (I'll call him Jack)was in the military. For the first time, Sally fell head over heels in love with Jack. As the time came to be closer for Jack to ship out to the Korean war, they both decided that they wanted to get married before he left. Jack was a pilot. Sally married Jack two weeks before he left for Korea. Sally said they were the happiest two weeks of her life!
Sally was a virgin when she got married. She talked about her first sexual experiences as joyful and full of passion. She never wanted to be apart from Jack, and yet he had to leave to go fight a war. The two of them spent two weeks in marital bliss before he shipped overseas.
Sally tried to settle into life without her husband. She was a model at the time. I've seen pictures of her during her modeling days, and she was just drop dead gorgeous. She had dark brunette hair, and eyes. She was more beautiful than Greta Garbo. She modeled many different famous designer's clothes.
When I knew her, Sally was not impressed by today's models. Having been a model, Sally had excellent taste in clothing. I have seen many of the vintage outfits she obtained while modeling, absolutely beautiful clothes!
Sally continued working, after her husband left. However, she soon realized that she was pregnant. In those days communicating with a husband overseas was nigh unto impossible. Sally's mom helped her a lot during her pregnancy. Sally was ecstatic about having her and Jack's first child.
Unfortunately, tragedy soon took the joy out of Sally's life. It wasn't long before Sally was notified that Jack was missing in action. I don't know if it was the tragedy of hearing her husband was missing, or what, but Sally soon had another problem. When Sally first told me this story she told me her husband had died. The reality of what really happened was still quite overwhelming to talk about for her.
Not long after Jack was reported missing, Sally lost her first and only child by Jack, late in the pregnancy. So now, not only was Sally alone, but her child was gone too. She went into a depression which highly worried her mother. She had no further word about Jack for a long long time. Sally had to endure her grief by herself without even knowing if her husband was alive or not.
I wish that I could end this part of Sally's story positively, however Sally was faced with a true tragedy. Eventually, Sally heard that Jack was coming home. Sally went to Jack's parents who asked her to come visit with them about Jack's return. Sally went there anticipating with joy Jack's return from his military service.
Jack's parents tearfully explain just what had happened to Jack. Apparently Jack's plane was shot down in Korea. Jack was taken captive. Tragically, Jack was tortured, and drugged for quite sometime. According to Jack's parents he was not much more than an emotional vegetable upon his return. They begged Sally not to see him. They asked her to just get and annulment, and go on with her life. According to them, Jack was no longer able to communicate, and was never likely to recover.
I can't imagine how Sally must have felt that day! She'd lost his baby. She'd lived without him all that time, not knowing if he was dead or alive, and then to be faced with such a horrifying decision. Finally, she agreed to his parent's request. Honestly, I don't think I would have. I think I would have demanded to see my husband in whatever state he was in. However, I never walked in her shoes. Maybe she didn't feel up to the emotional trauma after the hell she had been through already. Maybe she was just totally frightened by their description. She respected his parents, and trusted them, and did exactly what they asked her to do.
She was beyond devastated. She felt guilty. She was alone. Her child was gone. Oh, how she suffered! For years Sally told people her first husband died. She did not tell me the truth until we had been friends for many years. That kind of loss is hard to recover from. She was one of the strongest people I knew!
Monday, August 5, 2013
So sometime between college and when Sally eventually married, Sally decided to take a trip to Cuba with her mother to try and find out what had really happened to her grandfather who had died in Cuba, when her mother was very little. This is of course when Cuba was still a tourist destination, before anyone had even heard of the Bay of Pigs! Sally was happy to be able to do something for her treasured mother, who had a rough childhood. Sally wanted to help answer some questions for her Mom. So Sally, and her mother went to Cuba, and found a very nice hotel.
The first night they were there they decided to have dinner in the hotel's very fancy restaurant. They sat down, and began looking at the menu. Sally was excited to have this girl's trip with her mom. They had not been sitting at their table very long, when a whole bunch of men in dark, pricey, suits came in the door. Their shoes were all polished, their hats expensive, and it was obvious that they were a group. After those men came through the door, in followed another man in even a nicer suit, who was a little older. It was obvious that he was in charge of the others. The man sat at a nearby table, and Sally noticed him staring at her. She ignored it.
It wasn't long until a waiter came to her table with wine, and told her that the gentleman at the other table had requested that she join him for dinner. Sally politely told the waiter that it was her and her mother's first night in town, and they wanted to spend it together, and declined the invitation. So Sally and her mom happily went ahead with their meal. After awhile the mysterious stranger finished his meal, and then left the restaurant restaurant after tipping his hat to Sally and her mother, followed by all the other suited men.
Sally was quite curious about the stranger, and his entourage, so she asked the waiter just who the man was? The waiter told her it was none other than Carlo Gambino! Sally said it was years later when she watched the Godfather, that she said to her companions, "I knew him! He asked me out!"! She said, it was hard to imagine the man she met as being a criminal of that stature. She said,"He was such a gentleman about it all!"
The first night they were there they decided to have dinner in the hotel's very fancy restaurant. They sat down, and began looking at the menu. Sally was excited to have this girl's trip with her mom. They had not been sitting at their table very long, when a whole bunch of men in dark, pricey, suits came in the door. Their shoes were all polished, their hats expensive, and it was obvious that they were a group. After those men came through the door, in followed another man in even a nicer suit, who was a little older. It was obvious that he was in charge of the others. The man sat at a nearby table, and Sally noticed him staring at her. She ignored it.
It wasn't long until a waiter came to her table with wine, and told her that the gentleman at the other table had requested that she join him for dinner. Sally politely told the waiter that it was her and her mother's first night in town, and they wanted to spend it together, and declined the invitation. So Sally and her mom happily went ahead with their meal. After awhile the mysterious stranger finished his meal, and then left the restaurant restaurant after tipping his hat to Sally and her mother, followed by all the other suited men.
Sally was quite curious about the stranger, and his entourage, so she asked the waiter just who the man was? The waiter told her it was none other than Carlo Gambino! Sally said it was years later when she watched the Godfather, that she said to her companions, "I knew him! He asked me out!"! She said, it was hard to imagine the man she met as being a criminal of that stature. She said,"He was such a gentleman about it all!"
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
After her brother went off to war, Sally's life changed radically. Her dad, so eaten up with guilt over sending his only son to war, began drinking. Eventually, he moved out of the house, and started sleeping down at the mortuary. Sally carried a lot of responsibility during this time, driving the hearse that doubled as an ambulance. It was a very turbulent time in her family's life.
Another thing happened during this time that made life difficult is that sometime during Sally's early high school life, she began to have some problems with her thyroid, and perhaps some other glands as well. It caused her to gain a lot of weight, and miss a lot of school. It was a very lonely time, and was not helpful in her rocky school relationships. However, the doctors were able to treat her problems, and eventually she recovered into this stunning young woman.
Sally was never particularly comfortable in her womanhood. She wanted to be like the boys, and of course she wasn't. As I said before, she was always disgusted that she had breasts. She felt that they got in the way of people seeing the real her. She didn't want sexual attention. She wanted real attention to her thoughts and feelings. Honestly, I think Sally would have been happy with a sexless existence. The fact that Sally was so beautiful meant that she never got what she wanted.
Sally was always rather appalled at the fact that everyone else was so interested in sexuality. She herself was trying to stay as far away from it as possible. As she left high school and went to college, this became a bigger issue in her life. She did NOT enjoy what she felt was rampant sexuality in dorm life! She also did not enjoy the girls in her dorm that were so focused on it! To Sally the pranks, and dirty jokes were an irritation that made her college life uncomfortable.
Combined with the problems Sally had with her dorm mates, was also the fact that Sally was still going through boyfriends like a dolphin slicing through the ocean to avoid kissing any of them. She had a real reputation on Campus, which she could not understand, and would not explain. However she did have a lot of fun, on the many single dates she went on.
Despite all of the drama, Sally was an excellent student, and was very proud of the fact that her grades often exceeded her brother's, who was considered a genius. However, she rarely got the spotlight for her academic success, and was always sidelined to her brother's success. I believe she graduated Magna Cum Laude.
Sometime after college she began modeling, which she continued to do off and on for many years. She loved modeling, and regularly insisted to me that the profession was much different in those days. She would say, "It wasn't about the model's sexy walk or anything else. It was about the clothes, showing off the clothes. We were taught to minimize attention to ourselves, so that people would look at the clothes!". It was an exciting time to be involved with fashion. It was when the fashion greats were designing, such as Chanel, Christian Dior, and others. Her personal wardrobe blossomed, as models often were given the clothing they modeled.
Sally was also relieved to be doing anything besides playing the piano. For a time she had a rather serious relationship with a young Jewish boy. They discussed marriage, but Sally could not figure out how to resolve their religious difference, and eventually ended their relationship. It wasn't so much the boy, and she, but their respective parent's convictions that doomed them from the outset.
Another thing happened during this time that made life difficult is that sometime during Sally's early high school life, she began to have some problems with her thyroid, and perhaps some other glands as well. It caused her to gain a lot of weight, and miss a lot of school. It was a very lonely time, and was not helpful in her rocky school relationships. However, the doctors were able to treat her problems, and eventually she recovered into this stunning young woman.
Sally was never particularly comfortable in her womanhood. She wanted to be like the boys, and of course she wasn't. As I said before, she was always disgusted that she had breasts. She felt that they got in the way of people seeing the real her. She didn't want sexual attention. She wanted real attention to her thoughts and feelings. Honestly, I think Sally would have been happy with a sexless existence. The fact that Sally was so beautiful meant that she never got what she wanted.
Sally was always rather appalled at the fact that everyone else was so interested in sexuality. She herself was trying to stay as far away from it as possible. As she left high school and went to college, this became a bigger issue in her life. She did NOT enjoy what she felt was rampant sexuality in dorm life! She also did not enjoy the girls in her dorm that were so focused on it! To Sally the pranks, and dirty jokes were an irritation that made her college life uncomfortable.
Combined with the problems Sally had with her dorm mates, was also the fact that Sally was still going through boyfriends like a dolphin slicing through the ocean to avoid kissing any of them. She had a real reputation on Campus, which she could not understand, and would not explain. However she did have a lot of fun, on the many single dates she went on.
Despite all of the drama, Sally was an excellent student, and was very proud of the fact that her grades often exceeded her brother's, who was considered a genius. However, she rarely got the spotlight for her academic success, and was always sidelined to her brother's success. I believe she graduated Magna Cum Laude.
Sometime after college she began modeling, which she continued to do off and on for many years. She loved modeling, and regularly insisted to me that the profession was much different in those days. She would say, "It wasn't about the model's sexy walk or anything else. It was about the clothes, showing off the clothes. We were taught to minimize attention to ourselves, so that people would look at the clothes!". It was an exciting time to be involved with fashion. It was when the fashion greats were designing, such as Chanel, Christian Dior, and others. Her personal wardrobe blossomed, as models often were given the clothing they modeled.
Sally was also relieved to be doing anything besides playing the piano. For a time she had a rather serious relationship with a young Jewish boy. They discussed marriage, but Sally could not figure out how to resolve their religious difference, and eventually ended their relationship. It wasn't so much the boy, and she, but their respective parent's convictions that doomed them from the outset.
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
As my friend Sally matured into her teen and then college years, she was affected by several things. For one thing Sally had some problems with one of her organs which caused her to gain a lot of weight for part of her high school years. Kids of that age are intolerant, and she experienced ridicule. Fortunately the doctors at the time.were able to correct the problem, and she recovered.
Sally dated lots of boys. Her mother was not exactly open open about the subject of sex, as many mothers were not in those days. Her mother's sole warning was, "Don't kiss a boy or you will have to go on with the act!". Sally did not know what the act actually was until she married her first husband. However, she knew that she did not want to go on with it. So Sally dated a boy until he started to seem like he wanted to kiss her, and then she dropped him like a hot potato!
Sally's odd dating habits earned her quite a reputation with her peers. The girls thought she was a slut, going through so many guys, and the guys thought she was a tease. Not to mention, there were a lot of broken hearts. Once Sally resolved her health issue, she turned into a real beauty, worthy of Hollywood. This just increased the jealousy among her female peers. The funny part is, as Sally described this period in her life to me, she still couldn't understand why her female peers disliked her so much. I loved that humility about her. At that age she was truly horrified that boys were so interested in her. Mostly what Sally wanted was an asexual existence, with boys only as friends, and even more than that she wanted the attention of her father.
Sally's relationship with her father was a major motivating factor in her life. She always felt both in competition with her brother, and also appreciated to a lesser degree because she was a girl. For much of her life she tended to resent her own femininity, and though she was a beautiful woman she never was comfortable in her own skin. She wanted to be playing football with the boys, and was disgusted when she grew breasts. Mostly she wanted her Dad to see her, and respect her as an equal to her brother. So she spent a great deal of time trying to garner her father's attention, and never felt she quite measured up.
For instance, when her brother started to play football, Sally could see how proud her father was of his football player son. This fact, made Sally go out and become a cheerleader, hoping that her father would be proud of her like he was her brother.
Sally's father was not the only person she was interested in pleasing. Sally spent many hours learning and practicing the piano for her mother. In fact she practiced for hours everyday! She was honored many times in her community and in college for her accomplishments
Sadly, during her time in college, Sally gave up the piano completely. The piano was something she pursued for her mother's sake. She never really loved it. She felt hemmed in by the strictures of her training. Sally was an adventurous lady. She just couldn't see herself chained to a piano for her life when it was her mother's love, not hers. So she eventually gave it up.
Another thing that happened during Sally's teen years was the entrance of the US into WWII in 1941. Perhaps this event, more than any other had the most.lasting effect on Sally's life, altering both her immediate life at the time, and determining so many future events as well, down to who she would eventually marry, and the circumstances in which she would raise her children. Her life was profoundly affected by war, and not just WWII.
It was because of war that Sally began driving the ambulance at 13. Sally's brother wanted to join up. However he had a ear condition that if it were known would have prevented him from joining the service. Sally's father was on the local draft board. His son asked him to ignore his medical problem and let him in the service. Sally's father did, and then spent the next several years in a deep depression, racked with guilt and fear of losing his only son. During this time, Sally's father started drinking, and eventually moved to the mortuary for a time. Watching her father fall apart, was very difficult for Sally, and very frightening.
More soon...
Sally dated lots of boys. Her mother was not exactly open open about the subject of sex, as many mothers were not in those days. Her mother's sole warning was, "Don't kiss a boy or you will have to go on with the act!". Sally did not know what the act actually was until she married her first husband. However, she knew that she did not want to go on with it. So Sally dated a boy until he started to seem like he wanted to kiss her, and then she dropped him like a hot potato!
Sally's odd dating habits earned her quite a reputation with her peers. The girls thought she was a slut, going through so many guys, and the guys thought she was a tease. Not to mention, there were a lot of broken hearts. Once Sally resolved her health issue, she turned into a real beauty, worthy of Hollywood. This just increased the jealousy among her female peers. The funny part is, as Sally described this period in her life to me, she still couldn't understand why her female peers disliked her so much. I loved that humility about her. At that age she was truly horrified that boys were so interested in her. Mostly what Sally wanted was an asexual existence, with boys only as friends, and even more than that she wanted the attention of her father.
Sally's relationship with her father was a major motivating factor in her life. She always felt both in competition with her brother, and also appreciated to a lesser degree because she was a girl. For much of her life she tended to resent her own femininity, and though she was a beautiful woman she never was comfortable in her own skin. She wanted to be playing football with the boys, and was disgusted when she grew breasts. Mostly she wanted her Dad to see her, and respect her as an equal to her brother. So she spent a great deal of time trying to garner her father's attention, and never felt she quite measured up.
For instance, when her brother started to play football, Sally could see how proud her father was of his football player son. This fact, made Sally go out and become a cheerleader, hoping that her father would be proud of her like he was her brother.
Sally's father was not the only person she was interested in pleasing. Sally spent many hours learning and practicing the piano for her mother. In fact she practiced for hours everyday! She was honored many times in her community and in college for her accomplishments
Sadly, during her time in college, Sally gave up the piano completely. The piano was something she pursued for her mother's sake. She never really loved it. She felt hemmed in by the strictures of her training. Sally was an adventurous lady. She just couldn't see herself chained to a piano for her life when it was her mother's love, not hers. So she eventually gave it up.
Another thing that happened during Sally's teen years was the entrance of the US into WWII in 1941. Perhaps this event, more than any other had the most.lasting effect on Sally's life, altering both her immediate life at the time, and determining so many future events as well, down to who she would eventually marry, and the circumstances in which she would raise her children. Her life was profoundly affected by war, and not just WWII.
It was because of war that Sally began driving the ambulance at 13. Sally's brother wanted to join up. However he had a ear condition that if it were known would have prevented him from joining the service. Sally's father was on the local draft board. His son asked him to ignore his medical problem and let him in the service. Sally's father did, and then spent the next several years in a deep depression, racked with guilt and fear of losing his only son. During this time, Sally's father started drinking, and eventually moved to the mortuary for a time. Watching her father fall apart, was very difficult for Sally, and very frightening.
More soon...
Monday, June 17, 2013
So tonight I am remembering a very special friend who passed away two years ago. She lived a very fascinating life, and I've always wanted to write about her. So I think I'll write a bit about her from time to time. I'll only use her first name, Sally, and I'll use fake names for her living associates, if I mention them.
I met my dear friend, Sally, when she sold me my house. She was quite a beautiful lady even in her seventies when she met me. She was drop dead Greta Garbo gorgeous when she was young. Its funny, some people you meet, and its like there is this link between you right from the beginning. That is the way it was for Sally and I, even though there was a considerable difference in our ages. I always told her we were sisters underneath our skin.
Sally was gloriously loquacious. She could out talk me any day of the week and twice on Sunday. She was a wonderful friend to me. I could tell her anything, even the tough stuff, the imperfections about myself, the mistakes of the past that haunted me, and she listened without judgment, and always had encouragement for me. I believe that rarely in life are we gifted with a friend that seems to understand us from the inside out, and when we find one, we should treasure that kind of friendship, because it is like gold. I have been blessed to have a few friends like that, and Sally was definitely one of them, and I loved her dearly! Honestly, I loved so many things about her. She was certainly not perfect, as fallable as I am myself, but even her imperfections endeared her to me. She was somewhat Bipolar, I believe. She sometimes would call me crying, most all the time I knew her, but it was much worse in the last two years of life before God, through thyroid cancer took her to be with him. The rest of the time she was joyful, cheerful, and did I mention loquacious:^)? She made me smile, laugh, cry, and increased my faith in God everyday I had the joy of spending time with her. Its hard to know where to start with her story, because she was such an influence.
There is no way to sum up this kind of friendship into simple words, so I will just have to share it as I experienced it, in short bursts. I could write a book about this, and probably earn some money on it, but our friendship was one of love freely given and so I feel it only fitting to freely share Sally's story. A couple things I should preface this with: First, For right now I am typing on my kindle because lightning fried my video card on my computer, so please ignore typing errors, because it is almost impossible to go back and correct them on this thing. Secondly, this is about someone's real life, and I intend to tell the truth of Sally's life. This means that some things may be slightly graphic in nature. Things happen to people over the course of a lifetime that are not always pretty. Please also know I talked to Sally many times about writing her life story. She was perfectly aware that I would do this some day.
I met Sally, when I called her Real Estate office as I was bull doggedly looking for a home for my family. Unbeknownst to me, certain other of Sally's colleagues warned her away from working with me. They told her that I had look at all kinds of property for months and hadn't purchased anything. It was very true. I was looking for property with certain characteristics
On the day we found our house, she showed me several places. By this time, we had already made another offer that had fallen through due to some shenanigans by another agent in her office. Anyway, that day we went and looked at a couple of places. The first I can't remember. The second though I'll never forget, because it was an 80 acre parcel being sold by a 35 year old man, with a lovely wife, and daughter who was dying of cancer. I'll never forget sitting in that man's living room, which was covered in pictures of his beautiful family in happier times, as Sally quietly talked to this man who was obviously dying. I was so impressed with her caring attitude as she spoke to him. The property was beautiful, but a little out of our price range. My heart went out to that man sitting among the pictures of his baby girl, and knowing he would leave her soon. It was excruciating.
After leaving that sick man's house, who died a short time later, Sally said to me, "I know its not the amount of acreage you want, but there is this house down the road I have been wanting to look at. How about coming with me?". I told her I would, and the moment I laid eyes on the place, I knew it was the one. Sally laughed at me that day, and for many years after, because I looked at every outbuilding, called the chicken house a chicken hotel, and finally let her coax me into looking at the actual house. She always said that I was much more impressed with the chicken house than where I would be living. I knew that Joe would love the place, and she and I made plans for an offer. As we drove home, we stopped to eat, and that was when Sally told me the story of what she was going through at the time. She told me her fiance had been beating her. As she told me this story, I could see what a strong lady she was, and advised her to dump that man. We had a long talk, and she did exactly what I said, and kicked him out. Sally always felt badly about that situation, because she knew what had gotten her there was that she was disobedient to God. More about this another time...
I met my dear friend, Sally, when she sold me my house. She was quite a beautiful lady even in her seventies when she met me. She was drop dead Greta Garbo gorgeous when she was young. Its funny, some people you meet, and its like there is this link between you right from the beginning. That is the way it was for Sally and I, even though there was a considerable difference in our ages. I always told her we were sisters underneath our skin.
Sally was gloriously loquacious. She could out talk me any day of the week and twice on Sunday. She was a wonderful friend to me. I could tell her anything, even the tough stuff, the imperfections about myself, the mistakes of the past that haunted me, and she listened without judgment, and always had encouragement for me. I believe that rarely in life are we gifted with a friend that seems to understand us from the inside out, and when we find one, we should treasure that kind of friendship, because it is like gold. I have been blessed to have a few friends like that, and Sally was definitely one of them, and I loved her dearly! Honestly, I loved so many things about her. She was certainly not perfect, as fallable as I am myself, but even her imperfections endeared her to me. She was somewhat Bipolar, I believe. She sometimes would call me crying, most all the time I knew her, but it was much worse in the last two years of life before God, through thyroid cancer took her to be with him. The rest of the time she was joyful, cheerful, and did I mention loquacious:^)? She made me smile, laugh, cry, and increased my faith in God everyday I had the joy of spending time with her. Its hard to know where to start with her story, because she was such an influence.
There is no way to sum up this kind of friendship into simple words, so I will just have to share it as I experienced it, in short bursts. I could write a book about this, and probably earn some money on it, but our friendship was one of love freely given and so I feel it only fitting to freely share Sally's story. A couple things I should preface this with: First, For right now I am typing on my kindle because lightning fried my video card on my computer, so please ignore typing errors, because it is almost impossible to go back and correct them on this thing. Secondly, this is about someone's real life, and I intend to tell the truth of Sally's life. This means that some things may be slightly graphic in nature. Things happen to people over the course of a lifetime that are not always pretty. Please also know I talked to Sally many times about writing her life story. She was perfectly aware that I would do this some day.
I met Sally, when I called her Real Estate office as I was bull doggedly looking for a home for my family. Unbeknownst to me, certain other of Sally's colleagues warned her away from working with me. They told her that I had look at all kinds of property for months and hadn't purchased anything. It was very true. I was looking for property with certain characteristics
On the day we found our house, she showed me several places. By this time, we had already made another offer that had fallen through due to some shenanigans by another agent in her office. Anyway, that day we went and looked at a couple of places. The first I can't remember. The second though I'll never forget, because it was an 80 acre parcel being sold by a 35 year old man, with a lovely wife, and daughter who was dying of cancer. I'll never forget sitting in that man's living room, which was covered in pictures of his beautiful family in happier times, as Sally quietly talked to this man who was obviously dying. I was so impressed with her caring attitude as she spoke to him. The property was beautiful, but a little out of our price range. My heart went out to that man sitting among the pictures of his baby girl, and knowing he would leave her soon. It was excruciating.
After leaving that sick man's house, who died a short time later, Sally said to me, "I know its not the amount of acreage you want, but there is this house down the road I have been wanting to look at. How about coming with me?". I told her I would, and the moment I laid eyes on the place, I knew it was the one. Sally laughed at me that day, and for many years after, because I looked at every outbuilding, called the chicken house a chicken hotel, and finally let her coax me into looking at the actual house. She always said that I was much more impressed with the chicken house than where I would be living. I knew that Joe would love the place, and she and I made plans for an offer. As we drove home, we stopped to eat, and that was when Sally told me the story of what she was going through at the time. She told me her fiance had been beating her. As she told me this story, I could see what a strong lady she was, and advised her to dump that man. We had a long talk, and she did exactly what I said, and kicked him out. Sally always felt badly about that situation, because she knew what had gotten her there was that she was disobedient to God. More about this another time...
My friend Sally was born in Ohio in 1929. Sally's mother was raised in an orphanage. I can't remember how her grandmother died, but her grandfather was killed in Cuba. Sally later tried to gather more information for her mother on her grandfather's death, but that leads to a later story.
Sally's father was a mortician, and also ran an ambulance service. In those days, before trained EMT's, it was common for the mortuaries to run the ambulance service in town. I guess it was rather convenient when the patient died in route to the hospital.
When Sally was 3 years old she was in Sunday School, and believed on Jesus as her personal Savior. She described that experience to me often, as she did nearly all I am writing. I heard these stories over and over again, especially as her illness progressed. I am writing all of this from memory, so where my memory lapses so will this story. Anyway, Sally told me in this way how she came to know Christ, " I was in Sunday School, and the teacher was showing us a picture of Jesus, and I just said to him that I believed in him, and wanted to be just like him, and wanted to follow him always." Though later in life, Sally rededicated herself to Christ, she always clung to her experience at the age of 3 as the moment she turned her life over to Christ.
Sally had one older brother as her only sibling. Her brother was very ill as a young child, and was rather weak in constitution for much of his young life. Sally always felt that his illness caused her parents to spoil him rotten. As she and her brother grew up together her descriptions of their relationship was adversarial. He often did sneaky mean things to her behind her parents back. She particularly described him knocking her on top of the head, many, many times over the course of her childhood. Generally, her description sounded like living with an older brother to me, but Sally took it very personally, as she was a very sensitive person.
Sally, was a person who often wore her heart on her sleeve. She cared deeply for people. It was her greatest asset, making her this tremendously empathetic individual, but it also got her into lots of trouble, because she put her faith in unfaithful people too easily. Sally always had a hard time believing the worst about anyone, and because of that trait she made herself a target for the worst in others. Even at 80, her innocence and naivety about some subjects both comforted me, and astounded me at times. It comforted me, because in this ugly, awful, world, innocence is so precious. I've often wished that so much more of the world was like Sally, because the world would definitely be a better place for it, and life would have been much easier on her. However, unfortunately Sally was born into a world where avarice, and hatred were common place, and over the course of her life she surely felt the effects of the worst of it.
Sally's mother was a nurse, and she grew up surrounded by medical knowledge, some of which was in its infancy during Sally's growing up years. Things like penicillin and vaccines were just coming into use. They were considered breakthrough therapies, and some would say, changed the very course of modern life.
Sally's mother was very concerned about germs, being a nurse. Sally found her mother's fears unwarranted and rather smothering. Sally developed an intense distrust of modern medicine as she went through life. This attitude was increased by the fact that there was a time that many of our mothers and grandmothers were addicted by their doctors to tranquilizers tranquilizers like Valium, during the 50's and 60's. There was a time when doctors decided that the hormonal ups and downs of womanhood could be controlled by drugs. The same thing is true now, only now the men get in on the act as well. Sadly, Sally's mother became deeply addicted to Valium over the course of years. Good reason to distrust the system I think.
Anyway, because of Sally's exposure to the medical world, she had an interesting view of the world. Sometime between the time Sally was 5 and 8 years of age, she had an adventure with one of her friends. Sally, like me, was an imaginative child, and also like me, it sometimes got her into trouble. In those days it was common place for little children to just run off and play. There was very little crime, and children were supposed to enjoy the sunshine and nature.
One day, Sally and one of her little girl friends decided to take a hike. The girls were out in the woods, and they came upon a patch of poison ivy. Sally decided that the girls needed poison ivy vaccines. So both girls ate a tiny leaf of poison ivy. Sally, who was never very allergic to poison ivy, had no ill effects, but her little friend wound up in the hospital with internal poison ivy, and nearly died. Needless to say the mother of the little girl never allowed Sally to play with her daughter again.
When Sally was about 13 she started driving the ambulance for her father. She saw many accidents, and hauled many dead people to the mortuary. That experience had a sobering effect on an impressionable young lady.
Sally and I both happened to love visiting old cemeteries. We often visited them together on warm afternoons. I love them for their history. Sally loved them because it was where she grew up, and she remembered them as being a peaceful, comforting place, where she often played as a child. Sally was never afraid of.death. To her, death was a natural progression of life, and she knew who held her eternal future.
More later...
Sally's father was a mortician, and also ran an ambulance service. In those days, before trained EMT's, it was common for the mortuaries to run the ambulance service in town. I guess it was rather convenient when the patient died in route to the hospital.
When Sally was 3 years old she was in Sunday School, and believed on Jesus as her personal Savior. She described that experience to me often, as she did nearly all I am writing. I heard these stories over and over again, especially as her illness progressed. I am writing all of this from memory, so where my memory lapses so will this story. Anyway, Sally told me in this way how she came to know Christ, " I was in Sunday School, and the teacher was showing us a picture of Jesus, and I just said to him that I believed in him, and wanted to be just like him, and wanted to follow him always." Though later in life, Sally rededicated herself to Christ, she always clung to her experience at the age of 3 as the moment she turned her life over to Christ.
Sally had one older brother as her only sibling. Her brother was very ill as a young child, and was rather weak in constitution for much of his young life. Sally always felt that his illness caused her parents to spoil him rotten. As she and her brother grew up together her descriptions of their relationship was adversarial. He often did sneaky mean things to her behind her parents back. She particularly described him knocking her on top of the head, many, many times over the course of her childhood. Generally, her description sounded like living with an older brother to me, but Sally took it very personally, as she was a very sensitive person.
Sally, was a person who often wore her heart on her sleeve. She cared deeply for people. It was her greatest asset, making her this tremendously empathetic individual, but it also got her into lots of trouble, because she put her faith in unfaithful people too easily. Sally always had a hard time believing the worst about anyone, and because of that trait she made herself a target for the worst in others. Even at 80, her innocence and naivety about some subjects both comforted me, and astounded me at times. It comforted me, because in this ugly, awful, world, innocence is so precious. I've often wished that so much more of the world was like Sally, because the world would definitely be a better place for it, and life would have been much easier on her. However, unfortunately Sally was born into a world where avarice, and hatred were common place, and over the course of her life she surely felt the effects of the worst of it.
Sally's mother was a nurse, and she grew up surrounded by medical knowledge, some of which was in its infancy during Sally's growing up years. Things like penicillin and vaccines were just coming into use. They were considered breakthrough therapies, and some would say, changed the very course of modern life.
Sally's mother was very concerned about germs, being a nurse. Sally found her mother's fears unwarranted and rather smothering. Sally developed an intense distrust of modern medicine as she went through life. This attitude was increased by the fact that there was a time that many of our mothers and grandmothers were addicted by their doctors to tranquilizers tranquilizers like Valium, during the 50's and 60's. There was a time when doctors decided that the hormonal ups and downs of womanhood could be controlled by drugs. The same thing is true now, only now the men get in on the act as well. Sadly, Sally's mother became deeply addicted to Valium over the course of years. Good reason to distrust the system I think.
Anyway, because of Sally's exposure to the medical world, she had an interesting view of the world. Sometime between the time Sally was 5 and 8 years of age, she had an adventure with one of her friends. Sally, like me, was an imaginative child, and also like me, it sometimes got her into trouble. In those days it was common place for little children to just run off and play. There was very little crime, and children were supposed to enjoy the sunshine and nature.
One day, Sally and one of her little girl friends decided to take a hike. The girls were out in the woods, and they came upon a patch of poison ivy. Sally decided that the girls needed poison ivy vaccines. So both girls ate a tiny leaf of poison ivy. Sally, who was never very allergic to poison ivy, had no ill effects, but her little friend wound up in the hospital with internal poison ivy, and nearly died. Needless to say the mother of the little girl never allowed Sally to play with her daughter again.
When Sally was about 13 she started driving the ambulance for her father. She saw many accidents, and hauled many dead people to the mortuary. That experience had a sobering effect on an impressionable young lady.
Sally and I both happened to love visiting old cemeteries. We often visited them together on warm afternoons. I love them for their history. Sally loved them because it was where she grew up, and she remembered them as being a peaceful, comforting place, where she often played as a child. Sally was never afraid of.death. To her, death was a natural progression of life, and she knew who held her eternal future.
More later...
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